brokenness

This weekend was stuffed full of activity. Bran worked in the freezing cold and wind for over 18 hours at the Lubbock Invitation track meet. I spent my Saturday (6 a.m.-7:30 p.m.) coaching D.I. Our team didn't medal but I think it was a successful venture. I have no desire to coach it again in the future unless it is my daughter's team. Day-to-day parental interaction is plenty for me without their drama following me on the weekends too. On top of all that, we hosted Disciple Now at our house. Although we missed out on all but the super late night activity, we know it was a blessed weekend and we feel very fortunate to have a home to offer for that type of activity. It was quite hilarious to watch the 14 9th grade boys and their 3 leaders stare in to space from the comfort of the couch while waiting their turn for the shower after only 3 hours of sleep! We were incredibly lucky to have wonderful family help care for Maryn throughout all the activity.  I missed her like crazy but it was so nice to not have to worry about her as we maneuvered through the weekend.

I spent a good portion of the weekend whining about all that we had to do while making sure that everyone knew what a great thing we were doing for others. Sometimes I like recognition a little too much, and I know that. Very fortunately, church this morning brought me back down to earth. In fact, I poured out a lot of tears in reflection of my brokenness. I often fill the missing pieces of my heart with sin. My greatest one being laziness. However, I have been going through the motions of being a super-duper member of the church and hoping that was enough to compensate. Instead, I realized that no matter how many Disciple Nows we host, or how many years we teach Sunday school or how many other activities we get involved in, none of those activities can replace my personal relationship with God. I am broken and I must turn to Him in times of need and in times of blessing. Richie McDonald (formerly of Lonestar) was in town visiting some old friends and blessed our congregation with two beautiful songs, one of which really struck a cord with me. I often forget to say thank you for all the blessings, and more often then not, I forget to turn to Him. 

Maybe it's the part about 3 kids that really made me cry;)